1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio
3. At stoplights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4. Two words: chicken suit
5. Write the words "Help me!" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood the better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
8. Stop at green lights.
9. Go at the red lights.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly
13. Honk frequently without motivation.
14. Sing without having the radio on
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and obscene gesture.
16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stoplight.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear view window. Talk to them and stroke them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Root for firetrucks
24. Talk to your reflection in the rear and side view mirrors.
25. Cry hysterically.
26. Turn on the radio and sing a different song than what's being played. Loudly.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray to roadkill.
29. Throw spam.
30. Get in the fast lane and gradually...slow...down to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw spam at them.
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